Friday, July 18, 2008

the line that says some people

"Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some people move our souls to dance. They awaken us to new understanding with the passing whisper of their wisdom. Some people make the sky more beautiful to gaze upon. They stay in our lives for awhile, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never ever the same." ~ Flavia Weedn
sometimes what you think is true is not always true. sometimes what you think is right isnt always right. and most of the time, when you think it is, it isnt. and sometimes, most of the time, when you try to reach out, reach back again, those footprints are already washed away. the water washes away what ever footprint is in the sand because thats what they are for. in the world, nothing is permanent, but the human heart, as human as it is, could erase what memories are hidden in its past. not that it is what the heart is made for but because thats what the heart seeks for.

why you shouldnt be super mabait

i was talking to a friend earlier. i cant say old friend because friendship for us is actually new. so i say friend. a very good friend.
apparently, when we were not yet friends, i told him:

and you know what? he has this former ex-gf who happens to be a friend of mine, too. and youll ask me, why did they broke up? yes, because it was a long distance relationship and there were many reasons that called for a halt in the relationship and one of them was, my good friend said:

and he said: its like dejavu. haha. i think, maybe.
and then i just thought, what was wrong with being sobrang mabaet? they never had a single fight, no arguments at all. even when the guy admitted he made mistakes, the girl was like, very forgiving. thats very mabait right. so, when did being SUPER MABAIT became a problem why would-be relationships never happened and why actual relationships didnt worked out? and so the ever poetic me rationalized:

dont you think there was something wrong with that? it means hindi kayo nagoopen ng totoo niyong feelings sa isat isa. - regarding the no-argument, no fighting thing

and with that, she doesnt want to hurt you by saying what she really feels. she's hurting, but she wants to keep it to herself.

maybe youre afraid to hurt the other person kaya you choose not to say what you really wanted to say. you become very careful with your words and how you deliver them. you become very conscious with what you do and how you do them. and by being such, you erase the YOU in the relationship. you become another person. not a person who loves somebody, but a person who is mabait which means to say someone who doesnt want to hurt another.

pero sometimes, we need to feel a little pain because it will remind us that were human. capable of loving, capable of being hurt.capable and strong enough to feel pain, and to bear with it.
when i told my friend that he was super mabait, we werent in a relationship, so i guess it didnt matter, really. but with his ex, i think it did a lot. the relationship got boring, there was no intensity. how will there be intensity eh there were no verbalizations diba? some would take advantage of persons being sobrang bait. but im glad he didnt.

now, if you were like me, who wished all her life to be mabait, sometimes being salbahe has its own perks, right? people want mabait persons, pero they will get boring eventually. salbahe persons on the other hand brings excitement to other person's lives but nobody really likes a salbahe person diba? and i dont want my life to be boring and repetitive. but cheerios to all mabait people in the earth! i admire you all for being naturally endowed with those powers. pero i admit, and if i wont admit this, i am not being honest.

it all boils down to this one:
we are never contented with what we have.

think about it. i already did.
click here to see the original post


this is how it is pala when you are in total shock.
and i cant believe i am applying the 4 stages of grieving with what has happened.
Denial. Anger. Bargaining. Depression. Acceptance.
i am in DENIAL state for two nights. Now i am not even in the anger category.
i am RAGED.

i dont wanna talk about it. i cant. i cant find the words. talaga. so im sorry for the first time in my entire blogging career here in multiply i will stop talking muna about how i really feel. NOW. and i cant describe what i feel so i just grabbed these lines which i think would best depict how HURT i am inside.i reflected on these. feel free to do the same guys. it helps.

♥everything in life changes you in some ways. even the smallest things. if you do not accept these changes, you do not accept yourself. for through these changes brings new and greater things to you, making you wiser as time progresses. to avoid these changes is a loss. you only live your life once, do not waste a minute of it avoiding things. let them come to you. learn from them.
♥unless youve lived my life, do not judge me. becasue you dont know, never have, and never will know every little thing and detail about me.♥
♥ive built a wall not to block everyone out but to see who loves me enough to climb over it.♥
♥life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets. so love the people who treat you right, and dont forget about the ones who dont and believe that everything happens for a reason. if you get a chance, take it. if it changes your life, let it. nobody said that it would be easy, they just promised it would be worth it. ♥
♥there comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, who wont anymore, and who always will. so dont worry about the people from your past, theres a reason why they didnt make it to your future ♥
♥ i cannot cry. i tried but even my tears stopped falling for you. even my own body refused to let myself feel HURT, show emotions for a LOSER like you.♥

ill say this now and maybe ill say this again soon but i bet this would be the best time for this:

stop living in MINE. THEIRS. get yourself a LIFE.
and please, stop doodling with my life because you just ran out of somene to doodle with.
i aint a barbie doll in your doll house.
and SWEETIE if your gonna be two faced, at least make one of them pretty :)

click here to see the original one