Sweetness is Not my Weakness
I talked to a good friend of mine just a couple of days ago. He knows me and my husband very well. Actually, the two of them are best friends. So we were talking about stuff about our marriage because he was asking me how we are. Then he sort of said that we should be 'sweet' like some couple he know.
But we are not sweet! I, personally, admit the fact that I am not a sweet person by nature. I don't even greet people on their birthdays or for any occasion. I don't even greet my husband at all! It's just not my thing and besides, people won't notice I forgot about their birthday or something.
We don't like talking about each other and sharing 'our' stories to other people. We don't involve in sweet talk, publicly. We're not the couple who kisses in public, embraces in public. He hates PDA. I'm kinda ok with it but I'm not really comfortable knowing that there are eyes on us while doing such. And I don't want hearing people saying that we should get a room or something! We're not the couple who spoon feed each other even around friends and relatives. We're just not that type. I guess you could say that we love intimacy but we say no to PDA.
I actually didn't liked the idea that he was sort of 'comparing' us. I mean, what does he know about our relationship? I'm not angry or anything. It's just that yes, that couple may be sweet but it doesn't make us less in love with each other because were not mushy, right? And what does he mean by being sweet? Each person has his own definition of sweetness. Alas, it's not in my vocabulary. But what I do know is that we have seven years of history together, so there's really no need comparing.
When we were still boyfriend/girlfriend, my hubby tried to be mushy and sent me flowers in my dorm for Valentines, I just forgot what year it was. I was staying at St. Paul's then. He knew of course that every time a dormer receives a package or delivery, Ate Elsa, the dorm assistant, would announce it for the whole dorm to hear. I am just not a fan of big surprises. And he sent me a bouquet of red roses - not my type! He knows that but maybe because he's on a low budget, he thought that I'd get the message: "Better than nothing". I called him up, because we fought the night before so were not able to make any plans for the day, and said "I don't like the flowers! Ang pangit!". He wasn't able to say anything, and because I felt guilty, I said bye. I know that was really mean for me to do but I was young and well, YOUNG!
Of course when we met up the next day, he acted as if nothing happened. So you see, tragedy happens when he tries to be cheesy. He knows I don't like surprises because whether you believe it or not - I don't like it when people hide something from me, and that includes surprises! I'm too paranoid but that's how I am. So what we do, especially during Christmas and birthdays, I pick out what gift I want and he buys it for me. I even get to try on an outfit to make sure it fits me. Before he buys me flowers, I'd tell him from which store to buy and sometimes even the exact bouquet I want. Because of that, he rarely buys me flowers, which he only did on my capping ceremony and graduation - because I told him boyfriends gives their girlfriends flowers on those events. haha!
My philosophy for doing this: I appreciate gifts but its better if I get only those that I really want. And we're dang fine about it. That's how we roll!
Besides, I don't really know what 'sweet' is. What maybe sweet for you, is not sweet for me, right? I'm not really the person to brag about what my hubby does for me except only on times that my friends asks me about it but just so you have an idea:
But we are not sweet! I, personally, admit the fact that I am not a sweet person by nature. I don't even greet people on their birthdays or for any occasion. I don't even greet my husband at all! It's just not my thing and besides, people won't notice I forgot about their birthday or something.
We don't like talking about each other and sharing 'our' stories to other people. We don't involve in sweet talk, publicly. We're not the couple who kisses in public, embraces in public. He hates PDA. I'm kinda ok with it but I'm not really comfortable knowing that there are eyes on us while doing such. And I don't want hearing people saying that we should get a room or something! We're not the couple who spoon feed each other even around friends and relatives. We're just not that type. I guess you could say that we love intimacy but we say no to PDA.
I actually didn't liked the idea that he was sort of 'comparing' us. I mean, what does he know about our relationship? I'm not angry or anything. It's just that yes, that couple may be sweet but it doesn't make us less in love with each other because were not mushy, right? And what does he mean by being sweet? Each person has his own definition of sweetness. Alas, it's not in my vocabulary. But what I do know is that we have seven years of history together, so there's really no need comparing.
When we were still boyfriend/girlfriend, my hubby tried to be mushy and sent me flowers in my dorm for Valentines, I just forgot what year it was. I was staying at St. Paul's then. He knew of course that every time a dormer receives a package or delivery, Ate Elsa, the dorm assistant, would announce it for the whole dorm to hear. I am just not a fan of big surprises. And he sent me a bouquet of red roses - not my type! He knows that but maybe because he's on a low budget, he thought that I'd get the message: "Better than nothing". I called him up, because we fought the night before so were not able to make any plans for the day, and said "I don't like the flowers! Ang pangit!". He wasn't able to say anything, and because I felt guilty, I said bye. I know that was really mean for me to do but I was young and well, YOUNG!
Of course when we met up the next day, he acted as if nothing happened. So you see, tragedy happens when he tries to be cheesy. He knows I don't like surprises because whether you believe it or not - I don't like it when people hide something from me, and that includes surprises! I'm too paranoid but that's how I am. So what we do, especially during Christmas and birthdays, I pick out what gift I want and he buys it for me. I even get to try on an outfit to make sure it fits me. Before he buys me flowers, I'd tell him from which store to buy and sometimes even the exact bouquet I want. Because of that, he rarely buys me flowers, which he only did on my capping ceremony and graduation - because I told him boyfriends gives their girlfriends flowers on those events. haha!
My philosophy for doing this: I appreciate gifts but its better if I get only those that I really want. And we're dang fine about it. That's how we roll!
Besides, I don't really know what 'sweet' is. What maybe sweet for you, is not sweet for me, right? I'm not really the person to brag about what my hubby does for me except only on times that my friends asks me about it but just so you have an idea:
- I find it sweet when he travels all the way from Tanay to Manila just so he can pick me up from school and go home, back to Tanay. haha!
- When he gave me 3 mentos' every morning in highschool.
- When he cooks our dinner because I agreed to wash the dishes after, even though he knows I really won't do it and I would just pretend to have a stomachache.
- When he picks up the clothes on the floor that I left after I changed.
- When he took care of me when I got really sick in college and he bought ice to gave me a spongebath.
- When he makes me 'iced coffee' for nights when I really need to stay up late for school work, because I don't drink 'hot coffee'.
- When he wakes me up at 3am so I can review for a quiz or exam even though he knows I won't wake up.
- When he kisses me when I'm sleeping because I won't let him kiss me when I am awake :)
- When he buys me cup noodles or anything I want, even when its 2 or 3 in the morning.
- When he gives me mangoes which he already peeled because he knows I don't know how :)
- When he helps me look for an open computer shop around Morayta at 3am because I need to print a school paper due at 7am.
- When we 'wrestle', literally.
- When we just cuddle in bed and talk just about anything.
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